3 Secrets to a Happy Marriage | San Diego Engagement & Wedding Photographer

Three years ago today, I vowed to be the wife to a man who amazes me each year. We have both grown immensely in the three years together, despite spending a lot of time apart because of deployments. I’d say that we make a pretty great team: constantly motivating each other–sometimes with tough love, to live better, and love harder.

I don’t claim to know all the answers to a happy marriage, but in just the three years of being a wife, I have learned A LOT.  Here’s three pieces of advice to a growing, happy marriage:

1.) Travel. Rex and I were blessed enough to vacation in Costa Rica. It was an adventure of a lifetime. We hiked through a dense rainforest, discovered majestic waterfalls that took our breath away, rode on horseback in the pouring rain (mid gallop, my precious DSLR camera almost fell in the mud!), we swam in private waterfalls, zip-lined and swung on ropes through the canopies, forged rivers on foot during a rising tide, and dined in candlelight under the watchful eyes of tree monkeys…

I cherished that time together. It was a time of adventure and discovery. If traveling to another country is out of reach, then take a roadtrip for a romantic weekend getaway. Put responsibilities on pause, pawn furry and non-furry kids off for a couple of days, and enjoy quality time together– just the two of you.

2.) Build your dreams together. It will bring the two of you closer. A couple of years ago, I shared my dream of becoming a photographer with Rex. He bought me my first DSLR cameras and pushed me towards my dream even though it scared the poop out of me. He gave me some tough love, and continues to do so–telling it to me straight when he knows it will only make me a better photographer, a better artist, a better businessperson. I don’t need a yes man, I need him. I am thankful for having his wholehearted support as I dream big and build on it.

In the same way that he supports my dream, I continue to support him on our non-profit efforts with Book and Shade Foundation, a non-profit to promote literacy and learning by sending books to poverty-stricken children in underfunded schools across the globe. Book and Shade Foundation is making a global difference and it feels good to stand behind this purpose. Building our dreams together has definitely brought us closer together.

3.) Learn to say you’re sorry (and exploit cuteness if necessary). Someone very wise told me that the hardest years in marriage are the first seven years. Or was that owning a business? The first few years is the learning and growing phase. There will be arguments, oftentimes about the stupidest things–like dirty laundry.  Don’t fight fire with fire because any “solution” founded in anger only inflames the situation. Don’t let pride get in the way of saying sorry–even if it isn’t entirely your fault.  I’ve learned that swallowing my pride and saying those difficult words: “I’m sorry” instantly softens defenses. Once that happens, then that’s when problems start to get solved. If it was a really big argument, then I usually call on the big guns: our furry kids, Baxter and Maybelline. How can you stay mad with two of the cutest creatures on earth on your lap? Baxter has the wet kisses ready and Maybelline is pro at batting her big, brown eyes. Blink, blink.  “I’m sorry.” Works like a charm! 😉

Rex– Happy Wedding Anniversary, my King. Looking forward to the next 3, 13, and 30 years together. Thanks for being a great travel buddy, business partner, and husband. You rock my world.

XoXo,

Kristine